The following letter is from Chris Deyss, Executive Director of Prevent Child Abuse New York.
On behalf of the Prevent Child Abuse New York family, I send our heartfelt thoughts and well wishes to everyone affected by Hurricane Sandy. We hope you and your loved ones are staying safe and the recovery from this terrible storm will be swift.
The aftermath of natural disasters can leave us all feeling scared, insecure, confused and stressed. This is especially true for children. It's important to talk to children after a disaster occurs and remember a child does not have to personally experience the trauma to be affected. They may have heard other adults discussing the event or watched something on TV.
FEMA and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services put together a guide for talking to children after a disaster. Children’s coping with disasters or emergencies is often tied to the way parents cope. They can detect adult’s fear and sadness. Parents can help children by taking steps to manage their own feelings and plans for coping. Remember, parents are almost always the best source of support for children in disasters.
SUGGESTED TIPS:
- Don’t be afraid to admit that you can’t answer all questions.
- Be honest with kids and share age-appropriate information with them.
- Encourage your children to talk about their feelings. Reassure them the world is a good place, but sometimes bad things happen.
- Personal contact is reassuring. Hug and cuddle your children.
- Spend extra time with your children. An extended bedtime routine may be especially reassuring.
- Re-establish your daily routine for work, school, play, meals and rest. Kids gain security from the predictability of routine.
- Use this as an opportunity to establish a family emergency plan. Knowing what to do in an emergency can be very comforting to both children and adults.
- Monitor and limit exposure to the media; watch reports of the disaster with the children. Encourage communication and provide explanation at this time.
- Help children identify good things, such as heroic actions, grateful families, and the assistance offered by people throughout the country and the world.
Parents and professionals should be informed and ready to help if children show signs of stress. Stressed kids may demonstrate fears, sadness, or behavioral problems. Listed below are common signs a child is experiencing trauma.
Preschool Age (ages 1-5)
At this stage it’s hard for children to adjust to change. They have yet to develop their own coping skills. Some behaviors you might encounter are:
- Thumb sucking, bedwetting, and sleep problems.
- Fear of strangers, animals, darkness or “monsters”.
- Separation anxiety from places where they feel safe, their parents or teachers.
- Changes in appetite, unexplainable aches and pains.
- In some cases, disobedience, hyperactivity, and speech difficulties.
Early Childhood (ages 5-11)
Kids in early childhood may have the same reactions as younger children. They might find it hard to concentrate and may be intensely preoccupied with the traumatic event. Other signs include:
- Withdrawal from play groups and friends; clinging or neediness.
- Fear of going to school, aggressive behavior, and loss of interest in school.
- Fear of the disaster happening again, and anger that it wasn’t prevented.
Adolescence (12-18)
As children grow older, they develop a more sophisticated understanding of the disaster event. Their responses may be more similar to adults.
- Risk-taking behaviors or withdrawal.
- Rebellious and/or disruptive behavior at home or school.
- Alcohol or drug use to cope with emotions.
- Feeling overwhelmed and unable to discuss their feelings with others.
Hopefully these tips and resources can assist you in your time of need. You can always contact our Parent Helpline at 1-800-CHILDREN for additional information and resources. It is heartbreaking for us all to see the images of the tremendous losses experienced by our friends and neighbors up and down the East Coast. Our mission is to provide parents with the tools and support they may need in difficult times. We will continue to keep you and your loved ones in our thoughts.
Cordially,
Christine Deyss
Executive Director
Prevent Child Abuse New York
My Agency is getting many calls from Families needing help with the greiving process and support in rebuilding their Families. We cannot take childrens resilience for granted since fears and stress show themselves in many ways and a stressed out Parent may find the challenge of reassurance difficult as they cope with basic needs for survival.Thank you for the information and the reminders how life can change in a split second. And when it does we must all be there for each other.
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